The Sad Rationalization of Violence

I was leaving New York City early in the same morning that United HealthCare CEO Brian Thompson was shot in broad daylight in the back of the head. Sadly these kinds of events have become far too common, and it made me think about how it was only a year ago that I was in San Francisco at the same time a major tech executive was shot there as well.

What I was less prepared for was the onslaught of evil and malicious opinions that have been aired by so many people since then. I expected some ridiculousness from the same group of people who still somehow exist in my social media sphere who seemed pretty happy about the dead Jews on October 7th, 2023, but I certainly did not expect our politicians – people like Elizabeth Warren and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – to utilize the moment for political gain and to espouse a personal belief about healthcare in the United States.

I remember when Kobe Bryant tragically died in a helicopter accident that there was an overly eager (now fired) Washington Post reporter who used the death of a father, husband, and legend to millions to try to soak up her own fifteen minutes of fame by tweeting about rape allegations levied against Bryant many years prior. At the time, I had written a blog about the importance of not speaking ill of the dead, especially in the raw moments right after their murder. Seemingly not much has changed in our public discourse, and if anything, it has gotten much worse.

What made this really stick with me was not the belligerence of some people I know on social media. It was actually two specific phenomena.

The first is the utter banality of the situation for so many people. I would estimate that there is a very healthy chunk of people I know who presumably strongly disagree with someone being murdered simply on account of their line of work who still found it within themselves to post memes or jokes on the internet about the assassination. It seems that our meme culture has now superseded basic lines of civility. For many people, chasing clout and likes and followers seems to be a lot more important than just being a good person. That is very sad to see.

The second is that ego is so incredibly strong for people in the age of social media. I say this based on my experience stumbling upon a LinkedIn post the other day. Someone had eulogized Brian Thompson, talking about how he grew up poor and essentially personified the American Dream by rising to his status as CEO of a Fortune 500 company. The post was littered with hundreds of comments of people arguing back-and-forth about whether or not his murder was justified.

For one thing, I actually cannot believe that such a discussion can take place right now. It used to be the case that if you publicly aired the opinions of a terrorist or called for the killing of certain people that the FBI might show up at your door. It now seems so engrained in our society that so many of these crazy people exist that there is no point in prosecuting them. But more importantly, I cannot fathom why anyone would use a professional platform where their name, title, and company is plainly visible for the world to see to express such a demonic opinion. It is one thing to believe an awful thing and it is yet another thing to share that awful opinion with your friends. I would venture to say that even sharing the stupid and self-absorbed opinion might be permissible on Facebook, simply on account of what a cesspool Facebook has become. But to jeopardize the reputation of your colleagues and your brand all in the name of asserting a personal (vile) opinion that you have to a broad audience? That requires a certain type of narcissism that is completely lost on me.

I cannot believe that the goalposts have moved so far in our public discourse that I even need to say what I am about to say, but the reason we cannot tolerate this going any further than it already has is quite simple: in the absence of basic principles of morality that we all live and abide by, there is no society to be upheld. If we suddenly determine that it is OK to kill certain people because we disagree with their policies or the jobs that they do or even the policies that their companies have, then all Hell will break loose and it will be fair game to kill anyone you want. Because at the end of the day, who is the arbiter of what is right and wrong? Is a United HealthCare call center employee culpable? To a left-winger, anyone who is Pro Life might be fair game. To a right-winger, any doctor who performs an abortion might be fair game. We need to have a common standard we all abide by. Personally, I think “not killing people you disagree with” is a pretty low bar that we should all be able to agree to.

I suppose I should not have been totally surprised. In the days after October 7th – the largest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust – there were rallies globally celebrating what had just occurred. At this point, Israel had not even responded militarily. Then what has ensued in the fourteen months has been a plethora of hatred and open animus towards Jews, starting with tearing down posters of hostages (many of whom have now been murdered), all the way to literal rallies on college campuses where yelling “Kill the Jews” is not even leading to discipline of any kind.

What have we become? I completely recognize that in all of the aforementioned situations that emotions are running high and people have valid grievances and feelings. But why have we become an “all-or-nothing” people? Why is it for some people that they cannot support a universal healthcare system without thinking the alternative is to kill the people in charge of the current system? Why is the nuance gone from our conversation?

I think the answer is actually more straightforward. People have become more tribal than ever in the age of social media. And the reason people are so tribal is because the number one most important basic need for all of us is acceptance. In an environment of constant polarization and demonization – and especially one where we only see other people at their best – I think the human need for acceptance is greater than it ever has been. One way to gain acceptance is to “be on your team” no matter what it means with regards to your principles. What I mean by that is that you might believe in principle that murder is bad, but you might be just as easily swayed to betray that principle if it means that you will garner acceptance from a group of people you otherwise agree with on other issues. 

The herd mentality is strong and it is also dangerous. Now, more than ever, we must resist the urge to be part of the mob. Now is the time to stand up for what is right.